A few years ago, at my old company, we had to do diversity training. As a bit of a sceptic on such issues, I can’t say I was looking forward to it, thinking it was going to be some CRT-based nonsense. But, to my surprise and delight, it wasn’t. It was superb. The whole thing was centred around the idea of the platinum principle, of which, until that point, I had been blissfully unaware.
We all know the golden principle: do unto others as you would have done unto you. All very good and very noble. But it sometimes doesn’t quite cut the mustard, especially if we’re stuck in top-down thinking mode. We might end up being a bit thoughtless, and saying or doing something that might cause offence or upset, even though we ourselves would never be upset or offended if it were said or done to us.
The platinum rule plays into our ideas on curiosity. It’s: do unto others as they would have done unto themselves. Simply put, don’t assume everyone is like you, and get to know them and understand them by adopting the COAL attitudes.
Now, one thing that should be made clear is that this is not about identity politics or race or political correctness. This simply goes down to getting to know any person you meet and have regular dealings with, from a close relative to the people you work with to that friendly barista in the coffee shop.
The caveat, which was never mentioned during the training, but has struck me since, is that sometimes people don’t always know what they want, especially if they aren’t ‘anti-mimetically aware’. And so a degree of common sense sometimes needs to be applied at times. What we think we want may not always be what’s best for us. But, by applying a bit of love (in this case, tough love), we don’t have to pander to a friend or colleague’s every whim.
Nor should you worry about doing or saying something that might give offence. Most people are forgiving and don’t mind if you make a mistake. The problem I think that pervades a lot of liberal society today is that they worry too much about making a mistake, and end up hand wringing over every little possible problem. This is a complete waste of time and energy, and results in mental and emotional paralysis. If you approach life with curiosity, openness, acceptance and love (and a dollop of common sense), you’re very unlikely to offend anyone too badly, if at all.
Perhaps the diversity training was misnamed. The Platinum Rule certainly sounds like a much better principle than banging people over the head with a list of 'musts'!